Aggressive Toddler

How to help an aggressive toddler

There is nothing worse than when you're at the local park and you see your toddler hurt by another child. You can almost feel the slap, push or bite yourself. There is one thing that is almost as bad - seeing your own toddler use aggression and hurt someone else. Pushing, biting, scratching and hitting are all fairly common toddler behaviours, but it is something you can 'and should' deal with.

Why does my toddler hit?

The main reason your toddler may act out aggressively is simply because they can. They're testing the boundaries and it often feels good for them. They may also behave aggressively because they're frustrated, they're unable to verbalise how they feel or something is not happening the way they want it to. Your toddler may also just be tired, hungry or overstimulated.
As he grows, your toddler will be able to deal with these feelings more appropriately - but it's also important to show and explain to your toddler that aggressive behaviour, be it biting , slapping, hitting or pushing, is not the way to deal with things.

What can I do when my toddler hits?

The best way to deal with aggressive toddler behaviour is quickly, before he forgets about what he's done. Let him know that what he is doing is unacceptable and that there is a consequence to behaving badly.
Here are some steps to follow if your toddler is behaving aggressively at the playground:

• Jump in immediately and take him out of the situation.
• Give him time away from play (even just a minute), so that there is consequence for what he's doing. For example - one hit equals no fun time.
• Explain that what's he's doing is wrong and why.
• Take him back and make him apologise. Even if you have to do it for him (or if he has broken something or made a mess, make him help repair it or tidy up).
• Remain calm throughout.

Help your toddler develop other ways of behaving

At other times you can help your toddler forget aggression and develop good behaviours by praising him when he does the right thing "That's excellent sharing!". You can also talk about ways he can manage his anger or frustration instead of hitting or biting. "When someone makes you angry, try saying 'I don't like that' or just go somewhere else. This will help give him strategies to control his temper and frustration.

When toddler aggression gets worse

It's likely that, with your guidance, your toddler will soon grow out of his aggressive behaviour, but if it continues to be aggressive or becomes increasingly violent, you can get help. Visit your GP and explain what's going on. There may be a simple solution or you may need to see a psychologist, just remember there is support and help available.