5 Rules for Teaching Your Kids Respect

If you've been searching for a truly powerful way to teach communication skills to your kids, now is the time to make it happen. The family meeting shows your children how. Look inside for 5 important rules.
Let's pretend your kids, Jack and Jessica, bring up the problem Jack's having with the bully next door. As a family, gather around the table to discuss it .The family meeting rules will help you.

First Rule - Listen with Respect:

Children are taught to listen without interrupting. They must repeat what the speaker says before they offer their thoughts.
Let's say your Jack is afraid of the neighbor boy. He's big. He's loud, and he makes fun of Jack in front of all the other children. He calls Jack “shrimp” and “fatso.” Jack runs home in tears while all the kids laugh at him, except Jessica. She runs home to be with Jack.
Imagine Jack actually listening to Jessica's ideas about the bully. Jack will even prove it by repeating her thoughts.

Second Rule - Speak with Respect:

Jack and Jessica will get the practice they need to share their thoughts clearly and with few words. They must avoid hogging the spotlight too.
Can you see Jessica, your chatterbox, give a brief explanation of her thoughts? As parents, you guide your children to listen, take turns, and follow President Franklin Roosevelt's advice, “Be sincere, be brief; be seated.”
Consider pointing to a sign which says: “Listen! Repeat! Be brief!” You'll never need to nag when they break the communication rules. You'll just point to the sign.

Third Rule - Discuss Issues Respectfully:

Let's say the bully teases Jack every day. The bully's behavior and Jack's response are the issues.
Give every family member a turn to express what they know about the bully. Find out what they think needs to be done. You'll learn important information.
Watch Jessica as she silently looks at Jack while all the members listen to him speak. You've taught her to be respectful by letting him finish his thoughts.

Fourth Rule - Vote for the Best Solutions:

Each member offers respectful solutions. This keeps each member feeling involved and caring. Discuss each person's idea. Vote for the best solutions.

Fifth Rule - Offer respectful commitments:

Each member shares a specific promise to make the bully situation better. They're respectful because they''re sincere. The commitments are written down to review the next week.

Conclusion ~ Communication Skills, Respect, and Family Meetings:

How do the above rules teach your children respectful communication skills? Kids keep quiet while another member speaks. They learn to listen. They briefly repeat in their own words what the member before them said. Then they take their turn to speak. They express themselves with few words. How respectful is that?
Of course, you will need to decide whether to step in or let the children handle the problem. Maybe you'll talk with the bully or with his parents. Maybe the school authorities will need to help. It's your decision.
Can you see how the family meeting teaches your children family unity too? They'll feel bonded within the family and protective of each other. They won't want their sibling bullied by another kid. The family meeting promotes their love. It teaches them to become confident communicators too.

The Anger Scale: Teach Your Kids Now or You'll Be Sorry

The Anger Scale Can Help Your Kids Reduce Rage ~
When Daniel heard he couldn't go on the Hammer at the amusement park, his eyes bulged and he shouted, “That's not fair!”
“The sign where you got the ticket says you have to be at least 4 feet 10 inches tall to ride. I'm sorry,” said the ticket taker.
Hearing that, Daniel began kicking at the man and screaming, “You're a fat pig!”
As Daniel's dad struggled with him, the security guard came over and said they'd have to leave the park if the parents couldn't get their son under control. Because Daniel never did get under control, the whole family had to leave.

The Problem with Excessive Anger:

Excessive anger leads to rage. Rage can keep your child out of activities; hurt his reputation, his social skills, and his life.
How Rage Hurts Your Child:

1. Angry kids are avoided by classmates.
2. Children who rage gain a bad reputation.
3. Kids who rage risk becoming abusive adults.
4. Children who rage harbor ugly thoughts, feelings, and behaviors throughout their lives.
5. Kids who rage lessen the possibility for their own future happiness.
Tantrums can hurt you too:

1. Your kid's rage can deafen your reasonable mind and get you boiling.
2. If you respond to a tantrum with a tantrum, you reduce yourself to your child's level.
3. Your rage makes you look foolish and fuels more blow-ups from your child.
How the Anger Scale Can Help You:
Use it on yourself at a time when you're not angry. Look back at the last time you lost control. Practice changing your anger in that situation to mere frustration. When you make the change, you'll know how to help your child.
Never give yourself permission to be out of control by saying, “I couldn't help it.”

The Anger Scale ~ How to Teach Kids Now

When your child is in an even mood, ask him if he's willing to learn how to control his anger. If he says “Yes,” ask him to list the ways his anger hurts him, like:

1. I get in trouble.
2. I get too mad.
3. I don't have friends.
4. I don't get to do things I want to do.
5. Everybody thinks I'm bad.
Tell him you have a method that will help him. Show him this Anger Scale.

The Anger Scale:

Draw a “zero to ten point” scale. At the zero end of the scale, write “No Anger.” From numbers four to seven write “Frustration.” At the numbers eight to ten, write “Anger/Rage.”
0----1-----2------3------4--------5-------6--------7-------8------9-----10

No Anger = 0
Frustration = 4-7
Anger/Rage = 8-10

In situations where we don't get what we want, feeling frustrated (4-7) is normal.
Feeling No anger isn't realistic.
Rage that expresses out-of-control thoughts, feelings, and behaviors isn't normal or realistic either.
Frustration falls in the middle of two extremes. With frustration we are able to reason and think of better ways to handle disappointments.

Parenting Exercise for Changing Rage to Frustration in Kids:

Tell him the goal is to bring his anger down from the 8-10 range to the 4-7 range. Ask him to vividly imagine the last time he had a temper tantrum. Make sure he feels the anger he had at that time.
Ask, “Where is your anger on the Anger Scale right now?” (It should be high.) Say to your child, “Think about what happened that made you feel so angry. Close your eyes. Feel the anger. Then bring that angry feeling down to the 4-7 range.” Wait a bit to give your child time to do it. Then say, “When you've reached the frustration range, open your eyes.”
Ask your child, “Where is your number on the anger scale now?” (It should have moved downward.)
Then ask, “How did you do it?”
Some kids may say, “I don't know.” If so, say, “Guess.”
Typically, your child brought the number down by changing his thoughts because extreme negative feelings come from extreme negative thoughts. Tell your child to use this special scale whenever his anger feelings are getting out of control.

Conclusion for the Anger Scale ~ Teach Your Kids Now

The Anger Scale teaches how to visualize rage and bring it down to a reasonable level. When your child is consistently able to bring it down to frustration, he'll have a better reputation, he like himself better, and have a real chance for a happy life. So use the Anger Scale now. You won't be sorry later. In fact, you'll be glad you did.

Build Character and Motivate Kids with 3 Little Rhymes!

Raising motivated kids with character-building rhymes can be powerful. Why? Positive rhymes motivate but negative thoughts irritate.
Today you'll receive 3 motivational rhymes, 3 brainstorming one-liners, and how to teach self-talk rhyming to your children.

Your Child's Lead Ball and Chain

Imagine your child carrying a lead ball and chain into school, relationships, and chores. Negative thoughts are that ball and chain if your child thinks:

1. I hate school.
2. I hate those kids.
3. I hate chores
Children learn to try simple tasks, give up on hard ones, and complain. Such a ball-and-chain attitude becomes a habit and poisons their young minds. No parent wants this for their children. What can be done? Keep reading.

How Self-Talk Rhymes Build Character

Positive 2-line poems help your children keep trying. These rhymes become the seeds that grow into strong “can-do” minds. They become the self-talk in your child's daily thinking and they build character.
I taught this rhyme to my granddaughter:

“Hip, hip, hooray,
I tried today!”
Now she automatically says it aloud and gives me a high 5 whenever she tries something difficult. It tickles me inside to see her enthusiasm.

3 Self-Talk Rhymes that Motivate and Build Character

1. Some kids complain about homework. They don't realize that successful kids don't like it either. The difference is that positive thinkers don't give up. If you have a complainer, consider turning him around by often repeating aloud this self-talk rhyme:

Doing homework can be fun,
When I've tried and when I'm done.
This rhyme paints a positive picture of effort and completion. It could help unlock that ball and chain that complainers often drag throughout their lives.
2. Some children fight with siblings, neighbor kids, and classmates. They lack social skills and use fighting to get their way. Here's a rhyme that when repeated often, might help them loosen their ball and chain:

I don't argue and I don't fight,
Getting along is what feels right.

This poem creates positive feelings and motivates kids to get along. With it you can discuss ideas for making friends.
3. Other children hate chores and drag their feet like a ball and chain. They hope their parents will do the work for them. Sometimes their work is so sloppy that parents take over. This poem, when repeated often, could help:

When I put away my toys,
It makes for tidy girls and boys.
This rhyme promotes organizational skills when parents point out that being tidy helps finding toys later.

The Motivational Key for Building Character

When kids repeat positive rhymes, those rhymes become the thoughts that mold their attitudes throughout their lives. The key is the repetition inside their heads. It shapes their character too.
Your Parenting Action Step At dinner give your family a one-liner to rhyme. Explain that the second line must be positive and easy to say and remember. Members can work together in creating the rhyme. Post the rhyme on the refrigerator
. For the next several dinners ask:

1. Who used the rhyme?
2. What was the situation?
3. Has everyone had time to speak.
From then on, repeat the rhyme aloud whenever you need it so your children hear you. This will encourage them to keep using it for themselves.

3 One-Liners for Family Members to Rhyme

1. Say “Excuse me, Thank you, and Please,”
2. My body and mind are very strong,
3. When I go to bed and rest,
Have fun as your family comes up with the second line for each.

Conclusion for Self-Talk Rhymes that Motivate Kids

Teach this fun method to your children. You'll be building character in their thoughtful minds and loving hearts. And remember:

Building character is fine,
When you teach a self-talk rhyme!