1. Be consistent.
I explained about this in previous posts please go through that
Being consistent in following through with rules and expectations should be the number one task with young parents. By being consistent, you eliminate the control that a child likes to have in “raising a parent.” I think that being consistent is the hardest task a parent faces. The positive consequences are worth the effort.”
2. Discipline wisely
“When disciplining, don’t talk, act!” —Nick Wiltz, PhD, Father, Grandfather, Child Psychologist
3. Be involved in your child’s schooling.
Many parents don’t get involved in their child’s schooling because they don’t know how important it is, they feel overwhelmed in their own lives, or are too busy. Parents, most teachers love having your help. Helping in your child’s classroom offers you several golden opportunities. You’ll find out how your child is doing. You’ll be more effective helping with your child’s homework. You’ll be showing your child how much you care. Helping in your child’s classroom is a great way to insure your child’s success.
4. Share grief.
Share grief. “Include your child in difficult things, like the death of a loved one.”
It’s helpful to let your child see you grieve. When your child sees you grieve, your child realizes that grief is normal. It adds another dimension and makes life more realistic. Of course, your child will have sad things to grieve throughout his or her life. To help your child, have him or her draw a picture of the difficulty and then tell you about it. When you take the time to listen, you’ll lessen your child’s pain.
5 Listen and validate feelings.
Listen and validate feelings. “Rather than question your child’s feelings, listen with understanding. Beware of saying things like, ‘You don’t mean that,’ even if it is something you don’t want to hear. If you can listen with understanding and validate your child’s feelings, your child will be comfortable in coming to you with problems.” —Ann Mortensen, Mother and Business Woman
6. Follow through.
“Follow through on both rewards and punishments. Empty promises and threats don’t achieve anything"
7. Avoid arguing and talking too much.
Avoid arguing and talking too much. “Rather say, ‘You may have a point.’Listen and consider what your child has to say but still remember you are the parent.
Three helpful solutions:
1. Listen and consider what your child has to say.
2. S ay, “You may have a point.”
3. Remember you are the parent.
I believe it is important to give your child respect by listening and then acknowledging his or her point. Yet, when it comes to decision-making, remember you are the parent. You have the authority, the power, and the responsibility to choose what’s best for your child.
1. Listen and consider what your child has to say.
2. S ay, “You may have a point.”
3. Remember you are the parent.
I believe it is important to give your child respect by listening and then acknowledging his or her point. Yet, when it comes to decision-making, remember you are the parent. You have the authority, the power, and the responsibility to choose what’s best for your child.
8. Be firm.
“When it is time for your child to come out of Time Out, ask her why she was sent there. If she says, “I don’t know,” tell your child to go back until she does know. (This is providing you made it clear why she was sent there in the first place.) It may take three or four times before she admits her misbehavior and answers you. In the end your child will learn to take responsibility for her own behavior.”
9. Give attention.
Give your child your full attention. “Listen without an agenda. Give your child all the time s/he needs to develop his/her thoughts.”
Parents, in today’s fast world it’s difficult to listen well when there are so many things on your mind. It’s easy to think your child’s thoughts are not that important when you’re busy. Consider asking yourself the 10-10 -10 rule:
1. Will not listening to my child be important 10 minutes from now?
2. Will not listening to my child be important 10 months from now?
3. Will not listening to my child be important 10 years from now?
Listen, if you develop the habit of not listening, why would your child ever seek your advice? Imagine the teen years, who will your child will be listening to then?
1. Will not listening to my child be important 10 minutes from now?
2. Will not listening to my child be important 10 months from now?
3. Will not listening to my child be important 10 years from now?
Listen, if you develop the habit of not listening, why would your child ever seek your advice? Imagine the teen years, who will your child will be listening to then?
10 Treat your kids with respect.
If we want our children to respect us, we must show them respect too, even when we’re upset.
11. Teach your child how to disagree.
“Teach your child how to respectfully disagree with you. Don’t accept anything less than respect.”
Here’s an example:
Parent: “Please do your homework right after school.”
Child: “You want me to do my homework right after school and I’d like to relax and play after school. I promise to do it right after dinner. “
Parent: “Let’s try having you do your homework right after dinner for one week. If I have to remind you to do it, then I expect you to do it right after school. Do you agree?”
Child: “OK.”
Of course, there are many different responses that could be said during a role play. The point is, as the parent, you take the leadership role in teaching your child how to respectfully disagree.
12. Praise and respect your child.
“Praise children to build their self-esteem. Respect their secrecy. If they tell you something and ask you to keep it a secret, do so.”
Don't Share the secrets told by your child in your friends circle. He stop it when he knows that and you will loose the opportunity to influence him in later stage of life.
13. Teach your kids about money.
“When the kids wanted to borrow money, we set up a contract. The kids had to put in their money first. They borrowed the rest from us.We set up a payment chart until they paid us back by completing chores. Today,as adults, they handle money well.”
14. Remember the goals.
“Rather than yell and criticize your kids at Little League games, remember the goals of team sports. Instead, use phrases like, “Good job!You played well! Way to go!”
15. Welcome friends.
“If your kids shut down and won’t talk with you, make sure their friends are welcome at your home. You’ll find out what they’re into if you hear their conversations from the next room.”
16. No TV!
No TV! “Don’t let them get addicted when they are little. They’ll find more interesting things to do. They’ll become more creative. They’ll co-operate because you won’t be interrupting their programs. They’ll have longer attention spans too. If you never start TV, you’ll never have to take it away.”
17. Tell them you love them.
“When my boys were growing up I didn’t wait until they did something good to tell them I loved them and felt proud of them. They heard it often. Now they keep in touch, and love to tease me. Because of letting them know how much I loved them when they were growing up, I feel loved right back today.”
No TV! “Don’t let them get addicted when they are little. They’ll find more interesting things to do. They’ll become more creative. They’ll co-operate because you won’t be interrupting their programs. They’ll have longer attention spans too. If you never start TV, you’ll never have to take it away.”
17. Tell them you love them.
“When my boys were growing up I didn’t wait until they did something good to tell them I loved them and felt proud of them. They heard it often. Now they keep in touch, and love to tease me. Because of letting them know how much I loved them when they were growing up, I feel loved right back today.”
18. Avoid showing disappointment in your child.
Avoid showing disappointment in your child. “Let your child know when you are disapproving of his/her behavior though.” —Nina Ramsey, ARNP, PhD, Therapist
Filling children with shame for misbehavior can cut deeply into their sense of self. This can lead to self-hatred especially when your approval means so much to them. On the other hand, it is important to tell them what you think about their negative behaviors.This is a delicate balance. It means you are mentally separating children from their misbehaviors before you correct them. A tactic I like to use after the correction is to “catch them being good” when they behave well. Children want our approval. “Catching them being good” increases the likelihood that they’ll increase their positive behaviors. It also creates a mutually good feeling.
19. Create a united front.
“If you disagree about how your partner is handling a discipline problem, talk with your partner later. Why? You need to have a united front with your child. Don’t allow your child to manipulate you.” That is Even if you disagree with your partner’s handling of a discipline problem, talk with your partner later. Present a united front. Give your children a secure feeling. Don’t let them manipulate you.
20. Keep your kids quiet when you’re on the phone.
“Draw a picture of a phone with the word “important”. Talk to the kids ahead of time about keeping quiet when they see the picture. Role play by asking the kids to fuss until you pretend to use the phone on an important call. Create simple refrigerator charts. After that, hold up the phone picture when you are talking to customers.Give each child a sticker for their charts when they’ve been quiet.”
I like this tip because it:
Is simple to do.
Encourages the parent to be creative.
Prompts the parent to think first instead of yelling.
Involves the children in being helpful.
Teaches them to be polite.
Helps them practice self-discipline.
Rewards the children for being respectful.
Hope these tips will help you to become a good parent and cross the some of the huddles you are facing in parenting a child.
Avoid showing disappointment in your child. “Let your child know when you are disapproving of his/her behavior though.” —Nina Ramsey, ARNP, PhD, Therapist
Filling children with shame for misbehavior can cut deeply into their sense of self. This can lead to self-hatred especially when your approval means so much to them. On the other hand, it is important to tell them what you think about their negative behaviors.This is a delicate balance. It means you are mentally separating children from their misbehaviors before you correct them. A tactic I like to use after the correction is to “catch them being good” when they behave well. Children want our approval. “Catching them being good” increases the likelihood that they’ll increase their positive behaviors. It also creates a mutually good feeling.
19. Create a united front.
“If you disagree about how your partner is handling a discipline problem, talk with your partner later. Why? You need to have a united front with your child. Don’t allow your child to manipulate you.” That is Even if you disagree with your partner’s handling of a discipline problem, talk with your partner later. Present a united front. Give your children a secure feeling. Don’t let them manipulate you.
20. Keep your kids quiet when you’re on the phone.
“Draw a picture of a phone with the word “important”. Talk to the kids ahead of time about keeping quiet when they see the picture. Role play by asking the kids to fuss until you pretend to use the phone on an important call. Create simple refrigerator charts. After that, hold up the phone picture when you are talking to customers.Give each child a sticker for their charts when they’ve been quiet.”
I like this tip because it:
Is simple to do.
Encourages the parent to be creative.
Prompts the parent to think first instead of yelling.
Involves the children in being helpful.
Teaches them to be polite.
Helps them practice self-discipline.
Rewards the children for being respectful.
Hope these tips will help you to become a good parent and cross the some of the huddles you are facing in parenting a child.
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