Are Your Parenting Methods Unable You? - A Parent Coach Advice

As parent coach, children age our tactics of parenting should alter with them. Have you found that your parenting abilities appear to be failing you? Has your child changed? This young, respectful, effectively behaved per-adolescent has changed over night! Now combative, hitting, arguing and you are at your wits finish! As our children transition from per-adolescents to adolescents of their life, parents are typically concerned with disciplining their adolescent. Children become more challenging as they grow up, they have a tendency to turn into uncontrollable. A parent's first response is to attempt to control the youngster.
Facing kids who are moving by way of those preadolescence and adolescent years, our tendency is often to end up responding to them in really controlling methods. We speak to them as if we have control over them, and we do not. We make the very same mistake with younger young children, but typically we get by with it for years.

Do We Control Our Young children?

The bottom line is that we do not control our young children. The far more that we end up falling into the trap of attempting to control them, when we do not have control, the far more we wind up in futile battles and constant struggles.

Let's assessment what it sounds like when you're genuinely trying to control your children, and it's not working. It could sound like any of these comments:

* "Cut that out."
* "Put that away."
* "Put that down."
* "Stop hitting your brother."
* "You're going to eat every little thing on your plate."
* "Clean up your room."
* "Do your homework."
* "Get off the phone."

You notice the theme. You're responding and talking to your youngsters as if you did have control.

As adults, do we like to be talked to in this way? Obviously not! And neither do your youngsters.

So what's the option?

The option is always to shift your focus from controlling your kids to controlling the environment. This is a vital distinction that shifts your focus from the illusion of having control over your children (because you do not) towards the reality of what you do control...your environment.

In fact, you control every little thing that your youngsters genuinely care about. You control whether or not the electricity works, whether there's a Tv or cable within the home, whether or not the vehicle goes to soccer practice, whether the phone works, and even what food is within the refrigerator. You control every little thing that they care about.

So instead of attempting to focus on controlling your kids, I encourage you to focus on controlling the environment in response to your children's selections. In the event you maintain your focus here, you'll be able to now control the consequences to every single selection! Your kids then begin to learn from the consequences of their choices.

Revolutionize Your Parenting

This approach can totally transform your parenting, as it gets you out of the world exactly where you use lots of words to attempt to manage behavior. Words will not teach the lessons you need to teach. Consequences will. And you control all the consequences that are truly important to your children.When you make this fundamental shift inside the way which you parent, there's a world of additional methods and approaches that will make life even better. 

I encourage you to use this idea as a beginning point, and ignore all the several voices on the market that are encouraging you to repeatedly speak to your kids when dealing with dilemma behaviors. Of course, when dealing with an occasional moment of upset, speak with your children. But, when you are struggling via a pattern of tough behavior, keep in mind to enjoy reality...and focus on control of the environment...not your kids!